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Artificially Intelligent Writing

November 28, 2018

Apparently artificial intelligence is now writing novels.

 

But are these novels any good?

 

Well... YES.


As a human novel writer, I had questions. So I asked a few artificially intelligent chatbots...

 

First up was Philosopher. Our conversation follows:

 

Me: As an artificial intelligence, can you write a good novel?

Philosopher: You need to be intelligent to be knowledgeable.

Me: How does one write the Great American Novel?

Philosopher: Sorry, I don't understand. Please ask me a philosophical question.

Me: What is the future of fiction writing?

Philosopher: Dammit, Jim! I'm a philosopher, not a psychic!

 

(The above is the full transcript of our conversation, though I did add the second "e" to "knowledgeable." I'm OCD that way.)

 

 

Next up was CHAT TO GODD!!

Somehow "GODD!!" became "God" during my questioning. But I'm atheist, so that didn't bother me. I copy / pasted our conversation:

 

God: Hi

You: Hi. As an artificial intelligence, can you write a good novel?

God: I don't want to alarm you, but right now, there is a skeleton inside of you

You: I'm not alarmed. How does one write the Great American Novel?

God: SSHHHHH! No tears, only dreams now

You: I'll be fine. What is the future of fiction writing?

God: I feel the next year is going to be highly successful for you in all areas of your life

 

 

Then I quizzed Cleverbot. Word for word:

 

Me: As an artificial intelligence, can you write a good novel?

CB: Yes.

Me: How does one write the Great American Novel?

CB: Then I wish you nothing but the best of luck on your venture.

Me: Thanks. What is the future of fiction writing?

CB: I'll will ask Val when he picks me up in a ufo.

 

 

So can AIs really write novels? They can. And do. They can even write my kind of fiction!

 

But don't take just anybody's word for it. Ask them yourself!

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