It's not your book, it's our limited appreciation.

A couple more form letter-ish rejections trickled in, the last of them, I suspect. The rest, I predict, will be rejection by crickets...

Dear Author,

Thanks so much for your submission to Regretful Literary Agency*. Regrettably, your submission does not meet our needs at this time. Good luck in finding a home for your work, and thanks for thinking of us.

(No closing on this form letter.)

Dear Ms. Stewart,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, we must report that MEATFUL THINGS is not quite the right fit for the agency.

We appreciate the opportunity to consider your work and wish you much success and pleasure in your writing career.

All the best,

Not Your Agency, Inc.*

*Embellished for privacy.

And now I shall submit to that agency which has haunted me. The one which requires your entire manuscript be snail-mailed to them! Because at this point, why not?