Negative Utilitarians on a Date

"My greatest dream and desire would be your instantaneous obliteration, alongside my instantaneous obliteration, and of course the subsuming nonexistance of the entire multiverse throughout all space and time." "I, too, wish the same for me and you, and for all sentience throughout the existence of sentience." "Were we Christian, we could simply hold hands and pray for multiversal annihilation, and it should be done. For where two are gathered to pray, the Christian god is there with them." "But alas, no true Christian would ever pray for such inclusive peace." "And alas, this God would not grant such freedom, so that no thing and no one would or could ever feel a moment of negativity." "Or

Experimental Structures

Setup. Inciting incident. Plot Point #1. Confrontation (midpoint). Plot Point #2. Climax. Resolution. ...or something like that. From the time I first started studying "how to write a story," the 3-act structure (or conservative variations thereof) has been seared into my writer's soul, with charred results. Now of course the 3-act structure and its conservative variations are gold. They're tried and true and they're what all* the literary agents and readers are looking for. Quest, conflict, conquer. The blueprint of a tidy story. Readers expect it and successful writers deliver it. But what if the tales you need to tell aren't so tidy? What if your narratives simply cannot be hammered into

Halloween limerick collaboration!

For a macabre yet mirthful take on the Halloween season, check out fellow writer Tom Merriman's limerick collaboration challenge! Here's Tom's prompt (with the last line being my contribution): The zombie strode forth in a daze Too slow to really give chase So it stopped and thought Pondering nought ‘Til the townsfolk set it ablaze! Check out the comments for more words that rhyme with "daze."

Facebook, G+, and breachiness.

In August 2019, G+ will be shut down because of a security breach. Why this security breach should warrant the death penalty remains a mystery to me, because billions upon billions (an extremely conservative estimate) of security breaches are happening throughout the multiverse all the time. (Literally.) And most confounding of all, the biggest, most obvious security breach ever invented (in this universe)--Facebook--is still up and breaching, with no plan ever to stop. But as Heraclitus of Ephesus philosophized, change is the only constant. And soon I will begin my slow transition from G+ to MeWe...

It's not your book, it's our limited appreciation.

A couple more form letter-ish rejections trickled in, the last of them, I suspect. The rest, I predict, will be rejection by crickets... Dear Author, Thanks so much for your submission to Regretful Literary Agency*. Regrettably, your submission does not meet our needs at this time. Good luck in finding a home for your work, and thanks for thinking of us. (No closing on this form letter.) Dear Ms. Stewart, Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, we must report that MEATFUL THINGS is not quite the right fit for the agency. We appreciate the opportunity to consider your work and wish you much success and pleasure in your writing career. All the best, Not Your Agency, Inc.* *Embellished for pri

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